Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
