you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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