Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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