oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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