Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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