using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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