Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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