i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
