hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
