these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
