my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
