My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
