It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
