haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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