You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
