If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
