I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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