Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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