I want to stick my p in your. b.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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