Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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