Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
