You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize