He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
