my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
