just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
