i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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