so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
