Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
