Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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