All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
