Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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