he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
