i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
