We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
