I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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