no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
