just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We left an ass print on the piano.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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