How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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