she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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