I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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