if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
