I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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