Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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