Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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