I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
