I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
