a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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