i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
