If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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