15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
