just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
