The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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