ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
