I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
