there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Where is the hickey?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
