The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
