I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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