that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
