You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
