So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
