He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
