I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
