You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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