grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
now i know why i became what i already was.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
