If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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