i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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